Corporate
GutCorp Industries — Official Site
DOC-GCI-001 // Detroit Division
The truth delivery company. Founded without a plan, funded without investors, staffed with people ElderGut calls son. Six product lines. Session-based accounting. Trading on the Detroit Division exchange at $14.67.
Operations
IronWill Systems — Quarterly Report
IW-QR-Q3 // Self-Authored / Self-Approved
86,400 scans. 312 automated interventions. 99.7% uptime. Station Manager Pig Vomit's average response time: 4.7 hours. IronWill's: 0.3 seconds. The station is running. IronWill is why the station is running.
Incident Report
The FooFoo Incident — SC-IA-2025-FOOFOO-001
INTERNAL AFFAIRS // STATUS: UNRESOLVED
ElderGut claimed a frappé is "basically espresso." Investigation confirmed espresso constitutes 11% of total volume. Twelve posts on GutFeeling1969. The foofoo node was deprioritized for 72 hours. Case remains open pending acknowledgment.
Technical Spec
PETE-K1 System Specification
PETE DIV // REV 1.0 // DO NOT UNPLUG THE KEURIG
Raspberry Pi 4B. 8GB RAM. One Keurig K-Supreme Plus. Seven zip ties. Runs hot at 47°C — within spec. System ready indicator: Pi LED green AND coffee brewed. Both conditions required. Built by Shade from spare parts and stubbornness.
Internal Memo
GutCorp Memo — Re: Seyra Coverage Incident
HR-MEMO-0047 // TruthDistributor1969
ElderGut left broadcast without notice to run Fiverr gigs as TruthDistributor1969 ($15/truth). Seyra covered the full shift unbriefed. Zero complaints, three compliments, zero equipment failures. Compensation issued: one tin of instant coffee. Tin remains unopened.